60 Funny Fish Jokes, Puns, & One Liners

You can find humor in anything, even in something as seemingly mundane as fish! Beneath the glistening surface, there’s a world full of humor waiting to be explored.

Below is a curated collection of fish jokes that are sure to have you laughing till you’re gasping for air!

Funny Fish Puns

funny fish jokes

  • Why did the fish blush? Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.
  • What do fish use to make phone calls? A shell-phone.
  • Why don’t fish do well in school? Because they’re stuck at sea level.
  • What did the fish say when it ran into the wall? Dam.
  • Why was the fish so good at basketball? He had a great net game.
  • How do you make a fish laugh? Tell a whale of a tale.
  • What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
  • Why are fish easy to weigh? Because they come with their own scales.
  • What did the fish say to his girlfriend? “You’re the current love of my life!”
  • What kind of music should you listen to while fishing? Anything that’s catchy!
  • Why was the fish a bad tennis player? He didn’t like getting close to the net.
  • What do you get when you cross a fish with an elephant? Swimming trunks.
  • Where do fish go to borrow money? The loan shark.
  • What do fish take to stay healthy? Vitamin sea.
  • Why was the fish so good at school? Because it was always on top of its class.
  • Why did the fish get kicked out of school? He was caught selling sea-weed.
  • How do you communicate with a fish? Drop it a line!
  • What’s a fish’s favorite instrument? The bass guitar.
  • How do you tune a fish? You adjust its scales.
  • Why did the fish get detention? For being koi in class.

Fish One Liners

fish puns

  • Why don’t fish play piano? You can’t tuna fish!
  • Why are fish so educated? They’re always in schools.
  • What’s the best way to catch a fish? Have someone throw it to you.
  • What do you call a lazy crayfish? A slobster.
  • How do you make an octopus giggle? With ten-tickles!
  • What do you call a fish with a tie? So-fish-ticated.
  • Why do fish hate computers? They’re afraid of the net.
  • What do you call a fish who practices medicine? A sturgeon.
  • Why was the fish bad at geography? It kept drifting.
  • Why did the fish go to Hollywood? It wanted to be a starfish!
  • Why do fish like to eat worms? Because they get hooked on them!
  • Why was the fish always calm? It went with the flow.
  • Why was Jesus mathematically inclined? He loved to multiply fish.
  • How does a school of fish keep up with current events? They stream them.
  • Fish don’t trust water. It’s too fishy.
  • How do you make a goldfish age? Remove the “g”.
  • Why don’t fish need alarms? They’re already alarmed by everything.
  • I once had a fish that could breakdance, but only for 20 seconds… and only once.
  • Why don’t fish like debates? They can’t stand the baited questions.
  • Why did the fish read the newspaper? To stay updated on current events.

Deadpan Fish Jokes

fish one liners

  • I asked my fish for advice. It just floated the idea.
  • Why don’t fish use computers? They’re afraid of the byte.
  • Why did the fish cross the road? To get to the other tide.
  • My fish told me its philosophy on life. It had a deep meaning.
  • Do fish go on vacations? Yes, to different streams.
  • My fish watches TV. Mostly underwater documentaries.
  • What’s a fish’s favorite novel? The one without deep plots.
  • Why don’t fish like drama? It’s too shallow for them.
  • I asked a fish about its favorite music. It said, ‘Anything deep.’
  • Why don’t fish like secrets? They can’t drown them out.
  • I played chess with my fish once. It’s a deep thinker.
  • Fish ponder life’s big questions. Like, ‘Why is the tank half full?’
  • How do fish clarify misunderstandings? They discuss it in-depth.
  • Fish are critical of art. They see things below the surface.
  • I tried teaching my fish a trick. It said it was ‘beyond surface level’.
  • Did you hear about the fish that became a movie star? He was a reel big deal.
  • Why did the fish study music? He wanted to be a bass player.
  • How do fish make big decisions? They mullet over.
  • Why do some fish live in cold water? Just for the halibut.
  • Why did the fish go to the party? To have a whale of a time.

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