In America, what most men wear to the beach are swim trunks or board shorts, and Speedos are mostly worn by competitive swimmers. In contrast, European men mostly wear Speedos/swim briefs whether they are competitive swimmers or not. Why is there this discrepancy? Is it ok to wear Speedos at the beach?
You can definitely wear Speedos or swim briefs to the beach as they are not banned by any laws or dress codes. They provide many benefits as well, such as comfort, little to no drag underwater, and depending on who you ask, they look good and they allow you to show off the hard work you put into your body.
That said, there is some truth to the idea that Speedos are looked down upon by some judgmental people. People who wear Speedos are held to the same standard which bikini-wearing women are judged on, which is that if you’re showing that much skin, most people prefer it if you have an attractive body.
Some common insults hurled at men wearing Speedos are that they are homosexuals, exhibitionists, or that they are not attractive enough (e.g. beer belly, love handles, man boobs, not a big enough “package”) to be wearing a Speedo. People with a conservative upbringing might also think that a Speedo is too revealing and that only a shallow, promiscuous person would wear it.
Whether you want to let the negative opinions of some people stop you from wearing a Speedo, or you don’t care about others’ opinions and want to gain all of the benefits that Speedos provide, is up to you. If you keep reading on, we will discuss all of these benefits in more detail, how to pull off the look, as well as address some of the negative perceptions people have of it.
Why should you wear Speedos to the beach?
Speedos provide maximum performance in the water
Let’s start with the obvious: Speedos are designed to be worn in the water. They were originally made for swimming, and you will probably be doing some of that at the beach.
When you’re in the water, any loose clothing will weigh you down as well as slow you down. This causes you to use more energy just to stay afloat, let alone swim. Depending on how loose your clothing is, it can legitimately become a safety hazard. That’s why board shorts and rash guards are sometimes banned from swimming pools.
Conversely, Speedos cover only the bare minimum, sacrificing skin cover for maximum performance. You will be the most hydrodynamic you can possibly be underwater with Speedos on. If maximum performance in the water is what you need, just wear Speedos.
Speedos are comfortable
Some other issues with long swim shorts are that they are not only restrictive, but they can painfully chafe your skin when worn for long periods of time. They are prone to become twisted and bundled when swimming, drastically increasing drag and restricting movement.
If your swim shorts don’t have a mesh liner inside, as many don’t nowadays, then your “package” will not feel as secure, and the inner fabric can rub against your inner thighs. Swim shorts also take much longer to dry than Speedos because they absorb more water.
Conversely, you will not experience any of these problems with Speedos. No chafing, no drag underwater, no restrictions whatsoever. They take up little space in your bag, they dry extremely quickly. This ties in to the point above: some of the things that make them comfortable also increases their performance.
If you have swim shorts that don’t have a mesh lining inside, or if you are a scuba diver and don’t want to wear swim shorts under your wetsuit, then consider wearing Speedos under your swim shorts or wetsuit.
Speedos look good
This is probably the most contentious point. Some people think Speedos look attractive. Others think Speedos look ugly as sin. It seems to be cultural, because Speedos seem to be more accepted in Europe than in North America.
Similar to bikinis, which most people generally regard as attractive, there are times when a different Speedo or a different type of swimwear altogether is better looking depending on your body type. In general, Speedo/swim briefs look good if they are the correct size and they accentuate what you want while de-accentuating other body parts.
For instance, tight swim briefs can pinch your hips and accentuate your waist, creating the infamous muffin top look that people hate. Tight Speedos can also ride up, accentuating your butt cheeks (most people don’t want to see a guy’s ass) and giving you a wedgie which can be uncomfortable. Properly fitted Speedos should not dig into your skin and should give off a sleek, streamlined look.
Speedos are also great for even tanning, covering only your private parts. No more awkward farmer’s tans from wearing a tank top or worrying about if you need to worry about sleeve lengths anymore. Unless someone sees you completely nude, pretty much your entire body will be evenly tanned to a nice, darker color.
Speedos let you show off your body
If you’ve been working your butt off getting that summer beach body, why would you hide your hard work behind board shorts and a rash guard? It’s time to let loose by wearing Speedos. With health and fitness being more accepted and available nowadays, you don’t have to be a bodybuilder or pro athlete to go to the gym and get fit.
Even if you don’t have shredded 6-pack abs, if you’re proud of your body regardless of how you look, then the best way to show it off is with a Speedo. Why should women be the only ones that can do this by wearing bikinis? Let men get in on the action too.
You just want to wear Speedos
I’ve alluded to this, but you don’t really need a reason to wear Speedos. If you just like how they look in general, especially how they look on you, then by all means, wear Speedos.
You don’t need to defend or explain your reasoning. Speedos don’t break any rules or laws, even if some people give you dirty stares or heckle you for it (not likely to happen). Again, it’s not a requirement that you have an attractive body for you to be “allowed” to wear Speedos. You can wear it because you can, end of discussion.
Why some people hate Speedos
After reading about all of the reasons to wear Speedos, most of it being due to the great benefits they provide, why the heck do some people hate Speedos? Some people dislike how they look, and that’s fine, while others can become vehemently angry at the sight of it, which isn’t fine.
For one thing, some people equate wearing Speedos with being gay. They think that people wearing Speedos must be flamboyant and are signalling to other men that they are gay, which might anger some homophobes. I wonder how they’d react at the sight of a man wearing a one piece swimsuit.
Some people don’t like how a lot of guys wearing Speedos get one that is too tight-fitting, which creates the infamous muffin top look that they despise. Essentially, they wish that only attractive men wear Speedos, and unattractive men should cover up.
Since Speedos are so form fitting and revealing, one cannot hide their bulge. There are actually some people who say that if a man doesn’t have a large enough bulge, they shouldn’t wear a Speedo. To that, I have nothing to say except grow up.
One’s contempt of Speedos might also relate to their own inability to pull off that look. They imagine themselves in Speedos and cringe, mutter that they wouldn’t be caught dead in it, and project that insecurity onto others.
A religious or conservative person might think that men who wear Speedos are being too promiscuous, which they see as a vice.
You’ll notice how these complaints have nothing to do with the safety or performance that Speedos can provide, and have almost everything to do with appearances. In essence, shallow people believe only men with the body of Greek gods should be wearing Speedos, and you should disregard their shallow opinions.
How to pull off wearing Speedos at the beach
Before you even hit the beach, you need to first buy a Speedo that fits you nicely. Contrary to the advice we usually give when it comes to buying swimsuits, you should get a Speedo that fits snug without feeling restrictive (i.e. doesn’t cut off circulation or dig into your skin). Typically that means buying true to size or even a size lower than what you’d normally wear.
It should not so loose that it looks like you’re wearing a diaper, but loose enough that it doesn’t uncomfortably dig into your skin or create a muffin top look. A snug Speedo should still adequately cover your private parts and should not come flying off each time you jump into the water.
Next, when shopping for a Speedo, consider that there are different cuts and styles. The ones that people tend to like are ones with a higher waist and a more retro look. That said, this is highly subjective and you can wear whatever you think looks good as long as it fits well also.
Since Speedos are so revealing, you have to consider grooming yourself if you’re a hairy man. Nobody wants to see pubic hair, so trim them just short enough that they aren’t visible with Speedos on.
Finally, one of the most important factors when wearing a Speedo at the beach is how confidently you wear it. If you look uncomfortable, people can pick up on it very easily and will have a negative impression of how you look with Speedos. If you’re so confident that you’re standing around doing the Superman pose, that’s maybe taking it too far, but your heart’s in the right place.
Wear your Speedo with pride, and people will think, “Damn, this guy is really rocking that Speedo. Good for him.”
